A Short: Sex, Psychology & God

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On the Pacific Ocean. Photo by Rita Kurtz November 2022.

 

 

A Short on Sex, Psychology & God 

   

Several studies often share that married couples don't have good communication. Conversely, there are studies that cover how well married couples talk to one another, and how it relates to the happiness of their marriages. Studies often critically analyze the role of language in social connections regulating emotions which can be beneficial for any relationship. However, one topic that typically gets shunned in a marriage: S-E-X, especially amongst Christians.

     The Book of First Corinthians provides an open discussion of the church and the concerns that affected and impacted actual people in the first century. Marriage discussions run throughout the book. One of the most underrated discussions as Christians falls on the importance of sexual communication in relationships.

     As 1 Corinthians 7:5 proclaims, "Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control" (New American Standard Bible 1960/2021). Today's take on sex and communication tends to fall short of the truth. Exegetically speaking, this is a time to come together mutually. If mutual relations are not met and there isn't an understanding of boundaries, seeking professional help needs to be at the forefront of your marriage. Christian Counselors can guide and pinpoint deeply rooted issues that may be blocking communication. Communicating and having sexual relations is a part of marriage. 

Society has taken the marriage gift from God, often placing it under the wrong lens, but it is an important part of marital communication. Montesi et al. (2010) support that open sexual communication in marriage relate to overall relationship satisfaction, but it finds a difference in relatability between men and women (p. 605).

In the early stages of a relationship, frank sexual communication deemed more crucial to male fulfillment than after a year. In contrast, the study found that among the women, honest sexual communication deemed essential for relationship pleasure after a year's time. An interesting point nonetheless, but the importance of communication in marriage is crucial for a healthy sex life. 

The Joo (2015) study, Marriage and Sexuality in Terms of Christian Theological Education, marks notably one of the main issues, "Many of us ignore the sex education and think the best sex education is no sex education of any kind at all" (p. 3946). In today's society, sex education comes from Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Netflix, the internet, and other media outlets that have taken it to the level of complete sexual corruption. Every detail that is needed for sexual communication is contained in the Word of God. 

      The rationale regarding communication with couples supports biblical principles. God wants us to talk with him and with our spouse! He designed us to be this way. The Willems and Varley (2010) study researched neural insights in relational language and communication and reports that the ability to use language as a means of communication has been crucial to the survival of the human race (p. 6). 

     Clearly, there has been a lot of sex considering the human race is still surviving; however, instructions on good sexual communication, deep emotional support, and successful happy marriages must be an ongoing affair. Since the fall of man with Adam and Eve, as Joo (2015) states, "the relationship between sexuality and marriage has been vulnerable to brokenness (pgs. 3940-3941). Putting God first in marriage must be at the forefront. There is nothing more intimate than reading and studying the Word of God together as couple. Biblical instructions warrant further investigations into the power of God at the forefront of a Christian marriage and should be added to empirical data. 

Key words: sex, marriage, communication, God first, psychology 

 

Rita Kurtz (PhD student) is a recent graduate of Harvard University with a master's degree from the Faculty of Arts & Sciences department. While at Harvard University, Rita took part in several projects, including a research study at the Langer Mindfulness Lab in the Department of Psychology which delved into the psychological effects of how news mediums impact the consumption and conveyance of news to the public. In writing in the sciences, she researched and wrote two research papers and presented them in front of fellow scientists. The first paper researched Nutraceutical Skin Therapy: Anti-Inflammatory Effects of Ganoderma lucidum, a study on how mushrooms may support youthful skin and aid in patients suffering from the autoimmune disease, sarcoidosis. The second delved into extensive research on Meat Analogues: Are We Making a Positive Political Advancement to Save the Planet? Or A Personal Health Choice that Barely Sustains Ourselves?  which uncovered the unnatural ingredients masked in meatless burgers from Beyond Meat and Impossible Burger. 

Her interdisciplinary studies in law, anthropology and philosophy, makes her a well-rounded candidate. Her past academia undergraduate studies covered a gamut of disciplines including writing legal briefs and law courses in Constitutional Law, Business Law I &II, Torts, Corporate Finance, Business Policy, Economics, Chemistry, Chemistry Lab, and Consumer Behavior. She became a published nonfiction writer and a certified digital storyteller while at Harvard. 

Rita was formerly a Government Account Executive supplying computer networks to the U.S. military around the globe creating relationships between the civilian sector and the government. She has also worked as a Record-Breaking Technical Recruiter, placing C-level executives in major tech companies and start-ups. Her well roundedness and entrepreneurial mindset led her to running a successful bakery at the Department of Defense (DoD) Air Force Exchange. 

Rita is a digital creator, with some experience with Python Programming language. She stays current on mainstream topics as a blogger, social media influencer, and actress/entertainer. She divides her time between speaking, performing, and engaging in television, radio, and stage productions. She has covered tech news and innovations as a repeat spokesperson at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES), MacWorld, and for Belkin Components. Her acting appearances aired on Lifetime, History Channel, Fox, and the Paramount Network, landing her on an Emmy-nominated show. Her experience in media, led to a career in television, radio, movies, and writing. As a prior executive producer, TV and radio host of a positive side of sports, life and entertainment variety show, her co-hosts included NFL players and Professionals. The show broadcasted on Warner Brothers Television and Fox. Her position led to interviews with billionaires, millionaires, celebrities, professional athletes, NASCAR drivers, professional medical staff, professional attorneys, musicians, and business owners. As a headline lead singer, she has toured with Grammy-Award winning musicians, and performed the national anthem for several professional sports teams around the country. Rita is a strong writer, researcher, listener, articulate speaker, and takes direction well. She is most recognized for the TV commercial in which she belted opera on a bus with a guy dressed like a Scandinavian viking-(877-CASHNOW).

Currently pursuing her Doctor of Philosophy degree in Division 1 General Psychology with a Christian lens, hones her past skill set as a Christian Youth Group Counselor and a contracted DoD Choir Director. Her current research interests include artificial intelligence (AI), virtual reality (VR), law, ethics, morals, bioethics, aviation, military affairs, divinity and diversity. Her postgraduate studies at Liberty University allows her to research, analyze, test, generate new data, and the application of statistical and analytical data. Setting academic theories in psychology with a Christian worldview, opens deeper theories into more professional values, morals, ethics, behaviors, attitudes, justices, theoretical modeling, evidence-based modeling, culturally diversity standardization, leadership in trends, concepts, and methods. She is currently studying neuroscience, cognitive psychology, social-personality psychology, neurotheology, law, and statistics. Her main focus lies in self-regulation in the discipline of Health Psychology from a holistic-mind, body, spirit, and soul approach.

She is a current member of the American Psychological Association (APA), American Psychology-Law Society (AP-LS), National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ), American Federation of Musicians (AFM), Christian Association for Psychological Studies (CAPS), Harvard Black Alumni Society (HBAS), Harvard Club of NY, Harvard Club of Southern California, and the Harvard Alumni Association. She currently resides in Beverly Hills, California. Her faith in Jesus Christ is the foundation for her life.

Awards: 

 

Reference

Joo, Chung. (2015). Marriage and Sexuality in Terms of Christian Theological Education. Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences. 174. 3940-3947. 10.1016/j.sbspro.2015.01.1137. 

Montesi, J. L., Fauber, R. L., Gordon, E. A., & Heimberg, R. G. (2010). The specific importance of communicating about sex to couples’ sexual and overall relationship satisfaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 28(5), 591–609. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407510386833Links to an external site.

New American Standard Bible. (2021). Zondervan. (Original work published 1960)

Willems, R. M., & Varley, R. (2010). Neural Insights into the Relation between Language and Communication. Frontiers in human neuroscience, 4, 203. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2010.00203

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